英语笑话作文(通用12篇)

Title: English Jokes - A Laughter Therapy for the Mind

Introduction:

Jokes have always been an integral part of human culture, serving as a universal language that brings people together. With the advent of globalization, English has become the lingua franca, and jokes in English have become a popular means of entertainment across the globe. In this article, we will delve into 12 English jokes that are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and leave you in splits.

1. The Wise Man and the Donkey

Why don't you ever see a wise man riding a donkey?

Because every time he tries, the donkey speaks up!

2. The Math Teacher and the Student

A student asked his math teacher, "Can I have an extension for my homework?"

The teacher replied, "Sure, but you'll need to pay me $100."

The student exclaimed, "That's too much! Can I just give you 50?"

The teacher said, "No, but if you promise to pay the other $50 tomorrow, I'll give you an extension."

The student replied, "Alright, deal!"

The next day, the student gave the teacher $50. The teacher asked, "Where's the other $50?"

The student said, "I'll give it to you tomorrow."

The teacher exclaimed, "But you just promised to pay it today!"

The student replied, "That's right, but I also promised to give you an extension!"

3. The Chef and the Waiter

A chef walked into a restaurant and said, "I want to hire the best waiter in the world."

The owner replied, "I have a waiter who can serve you a plate of food in just 10 seconds."

The chef was impressed and asked, "How much do you pay him?"

The owner said, "Just $50 per day."

The chef exclaimed, "That's not enough! I'll pay him $1000 per day!"

The owner was surprised and asked, "Why?"

The chef replied, "Because if he can serve a plate of food in 10 seconds, he can also serve 6 plates in one minute, which means he can make $60,000 per hour!"

4. The Teacher and the Student

A teacher asked her student, "Why did the chicken cross the playground?"

The student replied, "To get to the other side."

The teacher exclaimed, "Wrong! The chicken can't cross the playground because it's too crowded."

The student asked, "Then how did it get there?"

The teacher replied, "The playground moved!"

5. The Patient and the Doctor

A patient went to the doctor and said, "Doctor, my leg is killing me!"

The doctor asked, "How long have you been having this pain?"

The patient replied, "For about a month."

The doctor said, "That's not good. Let me give you a shot to relieve the pain."

The patient winced as the doctor gave him the shot. The doctor asked, "How does it feel now?"

The patient replied, "It feels like I just took a nap."

6. The Customer and the Waiter

A customer at a restaurant ordered a glass of water. The waiter brought it, but it was filled with ice cubes.

The customer exclaimed, "What's this? I ordered water, not ice!"

The waiter replied, "Sir, this is our special ice water. It's healthier for you."

The customer asked, "How is it healthier?"

The waiter replied, "Well, it's water, and water is good for you."

7. The Lawyer and the Judge

A lawyer was defending his client in court. The judge asked, "Mr. Lawyer, do you have any evidence to support your client's innocence?"

The lawyer replied, "Yes, Your Honor. My client is innocent because he was born on the same day as my client's mother."

The judge was baffled and asked, "What does that have to do with his innocence?"

The lawyer replied, "Your Honor, if my client was born on the same day as his mother, he couldn't have killed her!"

8. The Teacher and the Student

A teacher asked her student, "Why did the tomato turn red?"

The student replied, "Because it saw the salad dressing!"

9. The Doctor and the Patient

A patient went to the doctor and said, "Doctor, my head hurts."

The doctor examined him and said, "That's because you have a headache."

The patient exclaimed, "But how did I get a headache?"

The doctor replied, "Because you have a head!"

10. The Customer and the Store Owner

A customer walked into a store and asked, "Do you have any pants for me?"

The store owner replied, "Yes, we have pants. Would you like to see our selection?"

The customer said, "No, I just wanted to know if you had pants."

11. The Patient and the Doctor

A patient went to the doctor and said, "Doctor,